kindness Archives - Happy Healthy Kids

Summer Craft Project that Gives Back: Kindness Rocks

July 13, 2017 by Kelley Leave a Comment

My son, Thomas, loves to collect interesting things he finds on the pathways that we hike on around our neighborhood. We’ve even made him a box where he stashes his treasures, which currently include three acorns, a few shiny pebbles, a styrofoam bird, and a little stuffed skunk.

But now, what we’re really on the lookout for are kindness rocks. Have you heard about this new craze, sweeping towns from Cape Cod, MA to Cape May, NJ this summer? Basically, kids and parents are gathering up smooth rocks, painting them with colorful or inspiration designs, and placing them throughout nature for people to discover.

Yesterday, my youngest son and I got in on the fun, painting some rocks after he was finished with camp for the day. I loved the idea that we could do a craft that had a life and purpose beyond mouldering alongside the art projects that I still haven’t organized from the last day of school.

I leaned toward rainbows, he tended toward spiders and Pollock-esque polka dots, but we both had a really nice time painting, and talking about where we were going to plant our creations and who—neighbor Chloe? mailperson Barb?—might come upon them.

This morning, just after a rainstorm, we decided to plant a rainbow rock at the edge of the pond at the end of our street. My son was a little sad to part with it, but ultimately decided that it’s sometimes even more fun to give than receive. A lesson as valuable in the heat of summer as at holiday time.

Some tips about creating and distributing your kindness rocks:

-If you can’t find relatively smooth rocks in your immediate area, hardware and garden supply stores sell smooth gray rocks (often called Mexican Beach pebble, $11 at Amazon for 30 lbs.), which are perfect for the project, at a very low price.

-Acrylic paint like this colorful sampler ($8, Amazon), with small brushes like these ($6, Amazon), work great. Invest in a spray can of clar UV/moisture protecting spray (like Krylon’s Crystal Clear Acrylic Coating aerosol spray, $10 at Amazon), which will protect your designs from the elements.

-Refrain from putting your rocks in national parks, or any other public spaces that have a “leave no trace” policy. Think about well-trod pathways around ponds and woodlands, or even grassy parks or playgrounds, near you.

A Sweet Surprise in the Woods

April 13, 2017 by Kelley Leave a Comment

After dropping the kids at school yesterday, though I had deadlines to meet and errands to do and really just wanted to get a scone from Starbucks above all else, I decided to take a walk. I pulled into a small wooded lot on the edge of a trail that’s conveniently located between the kids’ school and the main commercial drag in our town, put my earbuds in to listen to the news, and started walking.

I think it was just after hearing the latest on the despicable United airlines snafu—or maybe it was news about the apparent homicide of the first Muslim woman judge in the U.S.—that I saw, in the near distance, a shock of bright color in the middle of the still-leafless woods. As I ventured closer, I saw that there were about three dozen flags, hanging on a clothes line. Each one had a message, in different handwriting.

I turned off the news. I started to read.

Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

There’s no shame being a broken man. Just pick up the pieces the best you can.

When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is.

Some were aphorisms. Some were personal stories. A few were happy scribbles in a child’s hand. All were positive. There was no sarcasm. No teenagers had come along and drawn any dirty pictures. There were just these lovely, bright messages, written by people who had stumbled upon this trail as I had; and a box full of blank canvas flags and markers, with a message attached: “These prayer flags were put up by Cub Scouts from Den 6 in Natick’s pack 22 after learning about religions of the world. They are based on the idea of Tibetan Prayer Flags. Please join the scouts in sending prayers, wishes and good thoughts blowing in the wind, spreading good will and compassion to all.”

Apparently, the installation of prayer flags like this is part of a larger movement called “The Peace Flag Project,” that organizations all over the world are participating in. I hadn’t seen one before, so this was new to me. My immediate thought was that the “universe” conspired this—for me to stumble upon such a heartwarming tableau exactly when I needed it—but then it occurred to me that the reality was even better: That good people, with all the right intentions—in this case, some cub scout leader who thinks out of the box—made this moment so. After a long winter leadened with fraught politics, social media sniping, tragic news around the world, and a few personal medical issues that tested my resolve, it was a moment I needed. It was just—nice.

For those who live in the Boston area, I urge you to take a walk this beautiful weekend in the Hunnewell Town Forest in Natick; the flags are a few hundred yards down the path that begins off of Oak Street just south of Route 9. If you’re looking for a project to do this spring that might fill your family’s or community’s cup in a similar way, check out this information on the website of The Peace Flag project.

Nurturing Selflessness in a Selfie Generation

May 15, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

I was really moved by the recent news story about the high school quarterback who made good on a fourth-grade promise to bring his friend Mary, who has Down Syndrome, to prom. For so many kids, prom is a living selfie, in which painstaking choices of date, dress, transportation, and after-party are all made with an intent to prove to peers just how fabulous they are. This kid decided to make an old pal feel fabulous instead (and isn’t she just about the prettiest prom date you’ve ever seen?)

Some uplifting research suggests that humans—Ayn Rand be damned—are wired to think beyond themselves and their own needs. One well-reported study of 18 month-olds in the journal Science found that toddlers are quick to help others who are visibly struggling with a task—such as pick up a book that a grown-up has dropped—without being asked. But I fear we may be raising a lot of kids whose altruism is less instinctive, and more reactive—a means to a bigger allowance or better resume. Studied selflessness is certainly better than selfishness, but still, wouldn’t it be great if we could nudge more kids into more good deeds for no other reason than because they feel it’s the “right” thing to do—or simply because it might put a smile on someone else’s face?

In a previous post, I shared some tips from the Parent Management Training Institute about the importance of modeling generous behavior and becoming a “storyteller of kindness” to help nurture empathy in very young children. Last week, at our local bookstore, I spied a slim, not-so-new little paperback that might help slightly older kids start thinking beyond themselves independently. Written a few years ago by Suzy Becker (better known lately for her Kate the Great series), Kids Make it Better presents young readers with 24 problems and asks them to write their ideas for a solution and draw a picture about it. Some examples: “Things are not always equal for boys and girls. What would you do to fix that?” Or, “What would you do for people who don’t have homes?” And, “Some people are always shy and everyone is shy sometimes. How can you help a shy person feel less shy?” At the end of the book, there’s even an action plan section which helps kids put their ideas to work in real life. While it’s probably ideal for grade schoolers, the language is so simple and kid-friendly that you could easily read the book aloud to pre-readers and prompt them to share their thoughts verbally and through pictures.

It occurs to me that even more than camps, classes, trips, and Xtra Math, this might be a worthwhile activity for the kids to do this summer. I’m tucking this away on the shelf to bring out on summer evenings, when everyone could stand for a little quiet, calm, and reflection. I can’t wait to hear their ideas.

Photo credits: Noo via Flickr ; Lisa Troutman Moser via Facebook