Surviving End-of-School-Year Stress

We can easily waste energy and create unnecessary upset when we’re wishing things were different than they are. As author and spiritual teacher, Byron Katie, often says, “When you argue with reality, you lose—but only 100% of the time.” If you’ve got kids in school and a few extracurricular activities, you’re going to be busier than usual. It’s temporary and it’s fine. You don’t have get everything right or do it perfectly. Just take a deep breath and do what you can.

Lean on your lists and check your calendar often.
These might sound like more chores, but believe me, you’ll be better able to relax and appreciate all of the end-of-year celebrations if you know when they are and what you’re supposed to bring. For the next few weeks, set aside five quiet minutes (it might mean waking up five minutes earlier) to write down every task, and keep a sharp eye on your calendar for random half-days, extra rehearsals, field trips, etc.

Take time to savor the day’s highlights.
Our brains are wired with a negative bias, meaning we remember disasters vividly for years and forget sweet moments quickly. Even if your day was replete with tantrums, tardiness, and a trip to the emergency room, there were probably some good laughs and small triumphs in the mix. You can talk about them at dinner, write them down, or just think of a few as you brush you teeth before bed.

Get on the same page as your spouse or partner.
Explain the nature of springtime for you if your co-parent isn’t already clued in. Detail your hopes, concerns and fears, as well as the types of support you could use. Be ready to listen and offer support as well. (Brené Brown writes beautifully about vulnerability and the power of being honest about your hopes and fears with your spouse. It sounds uncomfortable, but will make your relationship a gazillion times stronger and more satisfying. You probably don’t have time to read her right now, but add Daring Greatly or The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting to your summer reading/listening list.)

Do your best with all of the above, but whether things go well or not, be kind to yourself.
That’s right: Be kind to yourself. (It’s worth repeating.) Your children are learning from your example. When this and many more spring seasons have come and gone, they will have internalized kindness to see them through. They will learn it from you.
     Here’s an image to help with that last bit, the kindness part: Picture a little kid in a dance recital, the kind you might be buying tights and bobby pins for this week. She’s excited and nervous. She’s been practicing new skills all year and is ready to shine, but she’s out of her comfort zone on stage and not sure how it’s going to go. She really doesn’t want to be embarrassed or let anyone down. From the audience you can see how totally adorable this kid is. You see her being brave and trying her best. You hope she will be able to think on her feet, trust herself and have a ball up there. You hope it all goes perfectly, but if it doesn’t, if a shoe flies off or a step is forgotten, you still love that kid. You still just want her to have great time being herself. What else is dancing for?
Now see how much you are like that kid. You’ve been practicing new skills all year and now it’s time to show them off. You can organize and prepare for activities, be present and compassionate with your kids, guard sleep and healthy food habits, remember the permission slips, sunscreen, bandaids, baseball mitts and bug-spray, all with a little more intensity than usual. Trust yourself. Bust a move. If it all goes sideways, you’ll have good story material to laugh about later. You are still totally adorable. Enjoy yourself. What else is living for?To learn more from and about Cory Halaby, check out her website.